Tag Archives: Fun

Eminem Takes a Fresh Step

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In entertainment news:

  • New Recording Artist P-Kitty and Eminem get ovation at Grammy’s

  • Fresh Step Cat Litter signs Eninem to an unprecedented million-dollar deal in their first celebrity endorsement ever

  • P-Kitty’s debut single, MeowMix is set to be released in April

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Footnote: I saw this cat in an ad for Fresh Step Cat Litter in People Magazine and couldn’t pass up using it, especially after finding a picture of Eminem in a near identical pose. Hope you enjoyed my moment of madness.
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Surgeon General Warning

Long-term exposure to sin can lead to heart disease.

Long-term exposure to the Son can lead to heart transplantation.

(Ok, it’s not from the Surgeon General but the Great Physician.)

Manure Happens!

Playing outside at my grandparents house one weekend as a kid, my brother and I discovered a pile of dirt over a little embankment that lead down to the garden. The knoll was the perfect launching pad for us to jump right into the cushiony pile of dirt. I’m not sure how long we played in the dirt but by the time we were finished, we had dirt in our ears (and every other orifice not covered by clothing). When my mom and grandparents came outside to see what we were up to, they made us aware of the painful reality that what we thought was dirt was actually manure for fertilizing the garden. I haven’t jumped in any unidentified piles since.

Manure happens! Don’t sit there and waller’* in it. Stand up, clean yourself off, and move on. You can let your past either haunt you or help you; one way or the other, it will determine your future. These situations are not meant to shake you as much as they are meant to shape you but the choice is yours. Nobody likes manure but it happens. Get over it and leave it behind (no pun intended)!

*waller’: southern for wallow, meaning to roll about in the mud; to indulge in something uncontrollably.
I am not southern but I am in the south and “when in Rome, you do as the Romans do!”

Fortune Cookie

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Interstate J: The Salvation Superhighway

If interstates are the highways for people to go from one state to another, then what do you call the way you use to get from an earthly state to a heavenly state, from unrighteousness to righteousness, from death to life? Jesus Christ, of course––He’s the only way!

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” ~ John 14:6

One of These Things is Not Like the Others. . .

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One of These Things (Is Not Like The Others)

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which one is above all the rest?
Can you tell which thing will ruffle the nest?

Did you guess which thing was not like the others?
Did you guess which thing just doesn’t belong?
If you guessed this one, the Steel Curtain,
Their Super Bowl victory is almost certain!

Assimilated from lyrics by Joe Raposo and Jon Stone as seen on Sesame Street.

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These bird brains are about to hit a wall, not of brick but of steel. Here is the pecking order with which the Black ‘N Gold is going to wing its prey:

  1. The Baltimore Ravens
  2. The Philadelphia Eagles or the Arizona Cardinals (whichever is still flight worthy after Sunday)

Advice is Nice but a One-Liner is Finer

Sage advice is a welcome treat when bringing in the New Year but made-up proverbs is more fun (and funnier). Here is some I came up with off the top of my head:

  • Food high in fat is waistful.
  • Man who start food fight usually end up with egg on face.
  • Beware of the flyswatter that kills the “fly on the wall when that happens.”
  • No need to eat crow–it tastes just like chicken.
  • Whoever died and made you boss stinks to high heaven.
  • As a man thinketh, it maketh woman speechless.
  • An apple a day helps keep constipation away!
  • Man with many DUI’s has little drive. (My dad contributed this one. His DUI’s were good for something after all! Just kidding.)

Can you come up with any amusing axioms or adages? I’d love to hear them . . .