Or touch his lady, or take his food, or steal his money, or curse his God. Beyond the inherent commandments given in the Bible, I take these as serious offenses that elicit grave consequences (not really the rhubarb, that’s just a line from the first Batman movie––take all the freakin’ rhubarb you want). I expect people to respect those particular elements in my life. I must confess though, I have not always followed my own advice. To whomever I have violated in any of these principles, I am truly sorry. I have never claimed to be a saint but that doesn’t excuse me from misconduct. I have been ashamed, as most of you have also, for things that I have done in the past. Though I can’t guarantee avoiding shameful situations in the future, I feel like I have learned enough not to repeat the same errors over again. Thankfully, He has forgiven me and I hope you will too.
If it makes you feel any better, you can have my Brussel sprouts.
Note: Don’t read into this. Those it applies to know who they are. Don’t sucker punch me next time you see me because you deduced from this that I messed with your woman, ate your French Fries, gambled with your money, or cursed your God (if ours is the same God, I love Him just like you do). This is about my conscience, not about your possessions.