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I Am Back!

Phew! I thought I would never make it. I am late, big time late. Many winters have passed since my last entry, talk about writer’s block. But here I am! I am back! I am not back on top, because I never was on top. I am not back after publication because I have not yet accomplished that. And I am not back the same; many things have happened over the years. Sadly, I am divorced, to mention one of the more important. Nonetheless, I am back…back to fight another day, back to write another day, and back to right my life. I would still like to get published some day (I mean, more than just self-publishing on this blog, of course. But I did miss that Publish button in the bottom right corner of these “Add Post” screens). And most importantly, I would still like to find lifelong happiness in the arms of another, without me getting in the way of it this time.

At any rate, I am unsure how much I will write here or if it will be here that I write at all. Stay tuned and hopefully it won’t be another 6 1/2 years before you hear from me again!

Ironic to my last post, Arnold Schwarzenegger was back again recently for another installment in the Terminator series. Ha!

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No Easy Button for America

BREAKING NEWS: A revised $700B financial industry bailout bill passed Senate by 74-25 vote tonight; the House is to vote Friday

Government interference, corporate irresponsibility, public ignorance in part—a trilogy of events that has lead us down this path of economic calamity. Unfortunately, there is no “easy button” for this dilemma; there will be no easy street for Wall Street or Main Street. Either strategy, the pay out or play out, has its share of consequences that will likely burden America for years to come. And while the economic fate of America hangs in the balance waiting for elected officials to act, what are we to do?

Trim the fat—America needs a diet!

For government:

  • Govern more and meddle less when it comes to business
  • Don’t prostitute citizens to big business but protect them from it
  • Reduce wasteful, excessive spending
  • Don’t accept handouts from corporate America (or other special interests)

For corporate America:

  • Stop the madness of overinflated executive salaries at the expense of the company’s performance
  • Limit risky ventures like sub-prime lending
  • Run lean even in prosperous times
  • Don’t expect handouts from the government

For the American people:

  • Reduce debt, spend frugally, increase savings
  • Quit confusing privileges for entitlements
  • Don’t expect handouts from the government
  • Hold your public officials accountable
  • And by all means—VOTE!

Here’s a question:

$10 trillion deficit overall, $400 billion budget deficit just this year and the US government has the audacity to describe their plan as a “bailout” and “rescue.” Does that even sound logical?

The answer to bad government is not more bad government, to paraphrase Jeffrey A. Miron, a senior lecturer in economics at Harvard University.

High Heels

What does it mean to see a pair of sneakers hanging over power lines?

This longstanding question of mine became less of a mystery during a recent Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Surprised by the answer, I took to the Net to validate what I’d heard. What I found was interesting. This symbolic act had not just one meaning but several. Here are some of the more common theories:

  1. Drugs are sold here / crack house
  2. Location for gang activity
  3. A bullying tactic
  4. Someone has died (which might be true also if 1, 2, 3, or a combination of the three has any merit)
  5. Virginity lost (Why shoes?)
  6. Celebration of a graduation from high school or college.

This much is true: Megan and I nearly got arrested trying to throw the neighborhood brat’s shoes over the power line for the picture, we’ve had an awful lot of activity from the “criminal element” since, and I’ve peddled more oregano to dudes in red hats and Denver jerseys than ever before. Oh, and a word of warning: please remove the kid from the sneakers before attempting to sling his shoes over the power lines. LOL

Have you heard any other theories? Or better yet, can you come up with some creative ones of your own? A tightrope walker tragedy, doing a line laced with polyvinyl chloride . . .

Happy Birthday Megan!

My little girl is growing up . . .

Her Eleventeenth (that’s 11 going on teenager) Birthday Party featuring Hawaiian luau theme, hamburgers, fruit kabobs, cookie cake, hula hoop match, water guns, water balloons, limbo contest, crafts, piñata, dance competition, five non-stop screaming girls, sleepover: $200.

Memories: Priceless

Whew! This old dad’s wore out!

The Toilet Connoisseur

WVU Freshman English. Instructor gives a writing assignment, “The Qualities of a Good [blank]”. Unsure of what to write, a floor mate in my dorm ( I think jokingly) suggests “toilets.” I was just goofy enough to take him seriously. Definitely original, I thought it was unique and original; my professor thought it was crap (pun intended)! **WARNING: Post does contain some potty humor that may be in poor taste for some.**

Have you ever sat on a toilet and had that not-so-fresh feeling? It’s like the feeling one gets when a bug flies into the mouth and is swallowed. It is a normal experience that happens to a lot of people, especially in public places. I personally prefer toilets different from those that cause one to gag. I refer to my preference as “the perfect john.” But what exactly is “the perfect john?”

“The perfect john” is made up of many distinct parts. These parts must have certain qualities in order to become one of the elite few. First, the toilet seat must be clean of all debris, for instance, a missing target. This is most important because our delicate skin must literally caress the seat’s surface. Next, the seat must be designed with the finest plastics so as to warm and soothe the underside. Third, the water in the bowl should be deep enough to dispel the very annoying and potent odor that most wastes usually emit. However, it should not be so deep that it splashes up when a transaction occurs (if you know what I mean). Also, the toilet bowl itself is required to have a shiny luster, one that you may see your reflection in. This helps to reveal both the commode’s cleanliness and the quality of the porcelain from which the toilet bowl was constructed. Finally, “the perfect john” must have the pressure to dispose of all the nasty waste material.

Not only is the quality of the toilet itself important, but we must consider the environment that the toilet is in too. Privacy plays a big role in where we decide to do our duties. Almost everyone’s biggest fear for unloading in a public place is that other people may be listening; you know what I am referring to . . . those sounds: the grunts and groans, and many other disgusting, but relieving sounds people make while moving their bowels (I’ll leave the rest up to imagination). In addition, the rest room is a quiet place to go for some people (not including one’s own routine sounds). Many people, like myself, enjoy reading a good magazine or newspaper article while relaxing on the “throne.” This is the working person’s only time to relax. Therefore, this short time that we have to ourselves is very crucial to most of us.

There is one thing, though, that you must heed: flooding. Overflowing can ruin a toilet (Yes, even “the perfect john”). This may be especially uninviting when one is barefooted. These can be identified by those that appear to be clogged with toilet paper. Avoid these irregular johns at all times.

Being a toilet connoisseur is something people do every day and don’t even realize it. This instinct we have is vital because without it we just wouldn’t be normal. We often take for granted the time that we spend in the bathroom. Be spontaneous — next time you walk by a toilet, stop and try it out. Ask yourself: “How does this toilet make me feel? What qualities does this toilet possess that appeal to me? How does this toilet differ from the ones that I’ve used in the past?” These are questions that go through our mind when we drive a different car so why not ask these questions when we use a different toilet. Whether it’s a car or a toilet, we are simply trying to avoid an accident. If you decide to take advantage of critiquing a commode, just remember to flush!

Wet with Awe

WOW! What a day in history.

  • U.S. Men’s Swimming 400m Individual Medley Gold Medal and World Record Winner by Michael Phelps
  • U.S. Men’s Swimming 4X100m Freestyle Relay Gold Medal and World Record Winner

JUMP!

I thought I could fly. In my mind, I could sense the effect of flight. With my arms spread wide and my chest held high, I gaze below ready to ride the winds. People watch on in a bloody look of immense excitement and think “insanity”. Could this be true? Maybe I can’t fly. Possibly my imagination is getting the best of me. But I actually cherish my air of flying. I always reasoned that the mind could conquer all. Could there be exceptions? Am I mentally disrupted or just simply mistaken? I shall no longer bother with this. Jump! Just jump!

This was written in my morbid days for my 9th grade English class as the climax to a story. When I go back and read it now, it seems more like an appeal to step out to pursue your dreams and conquer your doubts. Jump! Just jump!