Category Archives: Friends

Marriage: The Double Black Diamond

Tina and I went on a “romantic” ski trip this past weekend with three other couples, experiences ranging from novice to expert in both skiing and relationships. Being a trip of dual purposes (skiing and romance) make for an easy comparison. After nearly eight years of marriage on the second time around for both Tina and I, I can say without a doubt that marriage is one of the toughest things that you will ever do in life. Not getting married, of course, that’s the easy part; staying married and keeping the union tight is the challenge. It can often seem like an uphill battle,  a losing one at that.

If you’ve got only a modest knowledge of skiing, you know that “double black diamond” is a label given to the most difficult skiing terrain. The slope is often very steep with many obstacles, mostly bumps (called moguls), and narrow passes that you must negotiate in order to keep from planting your face in the hard-packed snow, or worse yet, breaking your neck. Double black diamonds are reserved for advanced skiers only as they can make mush of the bones of a novice. Well I’m here to tell you, marriage is very much the same way. Look at the parallels below:

skiing-marriage

Are these requirements? Only for successful unions. With a greater than 50% divorce rate, even in Christian homes, the warnings signs are there. Do you ski on past the signs knowing that it’s either you or the schmuck beside you that won’t survive the mountain? If so, ski at your own risk!

In order to survive the treacherous conditions that await to assail you on the Double Black Diamond of marriage, heed the warnings, go back to the basics, start from scratch, bruise your back side some to avoid breaking the bond of marriage; become a seasoned skier first, and only then will you conquer the Double Black Diamond of marriage without ending up on the rocky cliff of divorce.

Here’s a trail map that will guide you down some of the Green Circles and onto the Double Black Diamonds:

  • The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
  • Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
  • The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick
  • The Every Battle series by Stephen Afterburn and Shannon Ethridge
  • Moments Together by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Happy trails!

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6 Minutes to Impact

It was kind of ironic––on Tuesday, the local Christian radio station here in Charlotte mentioned that the last two years had been one of the safest stretches of time for commercial airline travel in the US and then, of course, two days later, Charlotte-bound flight 1549 plunges into the Hudson River. Astoundingly, everyone survived and there were no serious injuries.

Can you imagine though?

3:24:00  You’re 1 of 155 passengers sitting in a plane on the tarmac waiting for a routine flight to take off.
3:24:54  On the intercom, “This is the pilot, prepare for takeoff.”
3:27:01  At 3,000 feet in the air, you hear an explosion on one side of the plane and feel a jolt followed by another with the plane beginning to go down.
3:28:05  On the intercom, “This is the pilot, prepare for impact.”
3:30:30  Your flight impacts the Hudson River.

Life can change drastically in 6 minutes. Friday, the same radio station interviewed Mark, a listener that was on that flight. He said that he had determined that “this was it” and that he was ready to die. The DJ asked him what was going through his mind. “Regrets,” was Mark’s response. Would that be your response? Sure, Mark has been given a second chance to turn those regrets into results but most of us wouldn’t be so lucky.

If you knew that you were going to die in 6 minutes, what would be your regrets?

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

What will you be doing 6 minutes from now? Loving on your spouse. . . playing with your kids. . . pursuing your dream. . . calling a friend or family member that you haven’t talked to in a while. . . living a life worthy of your calling. . . eliminating your regrets.

Don’t go back to idle, casual, regrettable living. Live a life with intensity, intentionality, and fulfillment. Live a life where your regrets are laid to rest long before you. THIS is your second chance. Start now––who knows what might become of you in 6 minutes?

. . . And it is good!

September 30th not so long ago (well, 9 months or so earlier), God created; and it was good–it is good!

Happy Birthday, Baby!

I thank God for you everyday!

Queen of Hearts

Tina and I were graciously invited to a party by a coworker of mine. The festivities began with a diverse group of 50 plus people. The fellowship was superb, the food yummy (chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, bruschetta, and jalapeño poppers), the DJ jammin’, the disco lights poppin’, and the dancin’ hot. Themed, “Queen of the Jungle,” after the nickname of the hostess (Queen), the party even boasted a Tarzan yell contest (and I tied for 1st––AhhhhhAhhhhhh!)

Yes, this party is definitely worth bragging about but even more brag-worthy (and blogworthy) is the hostess. Queen is truly the “hostess with the mostest.” There are some people who let life’s circumstances make them bitter and some who let life’s circumstances make them better. As someone who has been a paraplegic since being hit by a drunk driver in the 70’s, Queen is definitely the latter. She is the kind of person with an energetic personality that lights up the room when she enters. She is not idle or lazy, inspiring others by working three jobs despite her reliance on a wheelchair. Some would say that her paralysis is a disability but apparently, no one has ever told her. Her Christian walk is more of a strut, resonating in the hearts of those around her. She has scaled the mountains of life with grace and dignity yet is humble enough to share the fruits of victory with her vast array of friends (and I just happen to be lucky enough to be called one). While the party was intended to be a celebration of Queen’s birthday, the real gifts are not in what she received but in what she gives to those who are fortunate enough to know her.

We celebrate you, Queen!

Neophyte Blogger

Yes, I am relatively new to blogging but I am not referring to myself–this time!

Give a shout out to Tiffani. She is a bff of Megan’s who just started a blog. She is 10 so I applaud her for an interesting blog. She even blogged politics! Check it out and encourage her with a comment. She’s the future of blogging

Keep up the good work Tiffani!