Advice is Nice but a One-Liner is Finer

Sage advice is a welcome treat when bringing in the New Year but made-up proverbs is more fun (and funnier). Here is some I came up with off the top of my head:

  • Food high in fat is waistful.
  • Man who start food fight usually end up with egg on face.
  • Beware of the flyswatter that kills the “fly on the wall when that happens.”
  • No need to eat crow–it tastes just like chicken.
  • Whoever died and made you boss stinks to high heaven.
  • As a man thinketh, it maketh woman speechless.
  • An apple a day helps keep constipation away!
  • Man with many DUI’s has little drive. (My dad contributed this one. His DUI’s were good for something after all! Just kidding.)

Can you come up with any amusing axioms or adages? I’d love to hear them . . .


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