I’m Such A Tool

What is it with stuff that breaks around the house? I mean, how come no matter how many tools I acquire, I never seem to have the one needed when something breaks?

The other day, the automatic garage door opener broke. This one appears to have seen better days in its 14 years of use so I was dead set and headstrong on getting a new one. There was just one tiny obstacle: the CFO said “No!” I even showed her the chewed up gear deep inside the openers encasing thinking that she’d be convinced (as I was) that it’d be easier and more economical just to replace the unit in its entirety. WRONG! Instead, she scoured the net for the exact part needed to fix it and then had the gall to find a local dealer who carried it. We did manage to save $130 or more. (They should let my wife run the US Automakers.)

Since we decided (Yes, I said ‘we.’ When “the boss” says “no,” you follow suit or suffer. Haven’t you heard the saying, “happy wife, happy life!” Besides, ‘we’ are one.) . . . as I was saying, since we decided to go the replacement part route, I imagined this would prove a little more difficult than the “just popping out a few screws and securing them into the new unit” idea I had, but hey, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, right?

Now I can remove sutures like nobody’s business but when it comes to tinkering with machines, forget it. Five minute jobs turn into an eternity (thanks Dad) and I lose my patience (and sometimes my religion). Why should this situation be any different? There’s nothing like coming home from a long day’s work to put your feet up for over 4 hours . . . on a ladder . . . arms extended indefinitely above your head . . . wrong tools in hand . . . scowl on face . . . staring into a box that is nearly as Greek to me as a nuclear bomb . . . and grumbles of sweet nothings coming from my mouth. Worse yet, I think by some cruel fate, the designer of this unit happened to be a lefty. Nothing wrong with a lefty of course (Tina and my dad are lefties) except that it makes for a very daunting task for this left-hand challenged Carter-Oosterhouse-I’m-not.

BAM! No, that’s not the same exclamation you hear from chef-extraordinaire Emeril Lagasse, that’s the sound of my derrière hitting the concrete as I stepped off the ladder onto the edge of the toolbox. No lie, my keister and the floor had a meeting. I did finish though, one backache, a cut leg, two filthy hands, and a bruised ego later, with five or so hours to spare before I had to get up and start all over again the next day.

And yet, I am still blessed beyond measure. Darned if it isn’t hard to see that in the moment sometimes (thanks Tina for putting it into perspective for me). I left a decent, secure job in a paid-for car that runs to come home to a warm house with an equally warm spouse, an A-B honor student, and a hot meal waiting for me on the table. I have a garage, a garage door opener, and the money to fix it when it’s broken (the ability is another thing; the Holy Spirit must have gotten me through). Then, I still had the strength to drag a battered and bruised but otherwise healthy body into a cozy king-sized bed next to a beautiful wife who rubbed my back (and my ego) so that I could catch some zzz’s before the start of a brand new day. Life may not always be kind, but God is good and His love endures forever. This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:1, 24).

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28 NIV

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ~2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

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4 responses to “I’m Such A Tool

  1. You’re not just a tool, you’re my tool. I have faith that you can fix just about anything. If you had just a ounce of faith that I had in you, it wouldn’t take 5 hrs. to do a 30min. job. You doubt yourself before you even get started. Change your perspective. Have a ” I can do anything ” attitude; remember that song.
    I love you regardless of your strengths that you have and just don’t know it yet. I think you’re BRILLIANT!

  2. oh no! I hope that you have recovered. I appreciate your perspective and positive outlook on it – we are truly blessed. Also – good job listening to Tina. ( :

  3. I can so relate to this. My greatest fear is working on my cars. They are so old that if you try to take them apart, all the little pieces holding them together break in the process. Shudder….

    It’s nice to see you have a cheering section!

  4. Well, first congrats on making a very wise financial decision! And to Tina for suggesting it!

    I’m sure that your abilities go much further than you think…..if your wife believes they do, I have no doubt!

    All that said, it was a humorous story! Thanks!

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